{"id":3011,"date":"2013-08-14T20:17:45","date_gmt":"2013-08-15T02:17:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.keloland.com\/lund\/?p=3011"},"modified":"2023-07-20T21:00:05","modified_gmt":"2023-07-20T21:00:05","slug":"for-gods-sake-give-him-corn","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jodystaples.com\/main\/for-gods-sake-give-him-corn\/","title":{"rendered":"For God&#8217;s Sake, Give Him Corn"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I was driving down to the Keloland studios this morning and couldn\u2019t help but notice a couple things; Hoekness\u00a0 produce stand on the Austad\u2019s east 20<sup>th<\/sup> street parking lot had just received another big flatbed full of sweet corn and people in the right lane were making dangerous moves across the flow of traffic so they could gain access to the \u00a0fresh piles of golden goodness stacked on that trailer. \u00a0Hoekness has finally wised up, I guess. Some marketing expert has figured out a way to make sure everybody who stops will spend at least five dollars.\u00a0 In the past, you could have all the corn you could carry away at a dollar a dozen provided you bought something else from the stand; a few green beans, a tomato, a cantaloupe, green pepper or even a single potato. Now corn is actually five bucks whether you get one dozen or five.\u00a0 Last week when I stopped, I left disappointed because the supply was picked way too early with under developed kernels that were more white than yellow. Sunday afternoon I gave it another try but the ears were all picked over. So, it was another disappointing departure from my favorite stand and on to the one by Lewis Eastgate where they claim the corn is local but I had my doubts since it was stuffed in what appeared to be Florida gunny sacks. Plus they don\u2019t let you select the ears yourself.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019d hoped to charm the indifferent young man wearing headphones that made a high pitched buzz sound when he took them off. \u201cPick me out six of your best ears will ya, there, pally?\u201d \u00a0Yeah, kill \u2018em with kindess, I thought, that\u2019ll humiliate him into treating me right. Wrong. I got home and had only three ears fit to eat. I considered driving back to the stand and shoving those white cobs where the sun don\u2019t shine but thought better of it; instead writing off the experience as further confirmation that society has long since abandoned the golden rule and couldn\u2019t give a fat rat\u2019s patoot about fairness.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m not supposed to have sweet corn anyway. Another diet, you know.<\/p>\n<p>As I drove by the swimming pool, which used to be Drake Springs but is now a brand new family aquatic center, I thought about stopping to take a picture and maybe writing a blog about what a short swimming season the pools offer with everybody, including lifeguards, going back to school so dadgum early. What a waste of these beautiful late summer days and fine facilities which shut down after just a few weeks.\u00a0 Maybe that proposed indoor pool is justified. \u00a0Before snapping a photo, though, I had a vision of a policeman pulling me from my car, squeezing cuffs around my wrists and putting me under arrest for being a suspected voyeur. \u201cBut officer, I was just\u2026.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cTell it to the judge ya perv.\u201d \u00a0 I put the Kodak away.<\/p>\n<p>Boy, this whole blog sounds like I\u2019m awfully grumpy.\u00a0 Well, chalk it up to sweet corn deprivation.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I was driving down to the Keloland studios this morning and couldn\u2019t help but notice a couple things; Hoekness\u00a0 produce stand on the Austad\u2019s east 20th street parking lot had just received another big flatbed full of sweet corn and people in the right lane were making dangerous moves across the flow of traffic so&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[60],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jodystaples.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3011"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jodystaples.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jodystaples.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jodystaples.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jodystaples.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3011"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.jodystaples.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3011\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11642,"href":"https:\/\/www.jodystaples.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3011\/revisions\/11642"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jodystaples.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3011"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jodystaples.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3011"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jodystaples.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3011"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}