Did you ever think when the hearse rolls by<\/i><\/p>\n
That\u00a0 you might be the next one to die?<\/i><\/p>\n
They wrap you up in a clean white sheet <\/i><\/p>\n
And bury you down about six feet deep.<\/i><\/p>\n
The worms crawl in the worms crawl out<\/i><\/p>\n
The worms play pinochle on your snout.<\/i><\/p>\n
They eat your clothes they eat your hat<\/i><\/p>\n
They crawl in skinny and crawl out fat<\/i><\/p>\n
The last time I sang that song was when I was about 12 or 13 years old sitting around an evening bonfire at Boy Scout camp. We all laughed at the words just like we all pretended to be scared when the counselor, with a flashlight held under his chin, told the obligatory ghost story in the glow of the fading campfire. Oh, I admit I may have jumped a little when he looked at me and screamed \u201cYou stole my golden arm!\u201d \u00a0<\/i>And, maybe I did have a little trouble falling asleep in our tent that night thinking about worms crawling in and out and ghosts looking for missing limbs. But isn\u2019t that what scout camp is all about..to make men out of little boys by scaring the snot out of them?<\/p>\n
I was reminded of that experience recently when my cousin Grouse and I were sitting around having a couple glasses of his favorite boxed wine. Somehow the conversation turned kinda morbid..important but morbid. \u201cHave you decided where you\u2019re going to be buried when you die?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course, he said, the cemetery in Volga. Haven\u2019t you and Linda made arrangements for a plot someplace?\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNo. The few times we\u2019ve talked about it ended in kind of a standoff\u00a0 followed by silence.\u201d My brother is talking about being cremated.\u00a0 I\u2019ve spent my whole life hoping to avoid the burning fires of Hell..I certainly don\u2019t want the funeral director to jump start the process. This chardonnay in a box isn\u2019t half bad..what vintage is it?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cThe middle of last month,\u201d Grouse said with a laugh. \u201cI dunno, he said, maybe being cremated isn\u2019t a bad idea. Better than being planted like a petunia. Those caskets eventually leak..you know and then you\u2019re nothing but a feast for the night crawlers.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI was thinking about being buried above <\/span>\u00a0\u00a0ground in a mausoleum like they have over at Hills of Rest. That\u2019s what our friend Alona plans to do.\u201dI said.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, but isn\u2019t that awfully expensive?\u201d said my cousin as he headed back to the refrigerator to unscrew the dispenser on the bladder of wine inside.<\/p>\n \u201cI suppose so, I would just rather not have to think about any of this stuff, you know?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, said Grouse, you don\u2019t what to leave these tough eternal decisions for your kids to have to figure out do you?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, I guess not.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIf\u00a0 I were you, he said with the confidence that only a fine boxed white wine can provide, I\u2019d get it done as soon as possible and\u00a0 have it over with. Oh, and be sure to include that decision in your will.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWill??\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Did you ever think when the hearse rolls by That\u00a0 you might be the next one to die? They wrap you up in a clean white sheet And bury you down about six feet deep. The worms crawl in the worms crawl out The worms play pinochle on your snout. They eat your clothes they…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[60],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jodystaples.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3549"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jodystaples.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jodystaples.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jodystaples.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jodystaples.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3549"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.jodystaples.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3549\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11606,"href":"https:\/\/www.jodystaples.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3549\/revisions\/11606"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jodystaples.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3549"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jodystaples.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3549"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jodystaples.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3549"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}