{"id":486,"date":"2010-07-03T10:56:01","date_gmt":"2010-07-03T16:56:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.keloland.com\/lund\/?p=486"},"modified":"2023-07-20T21:00:11","modified_gmt":"2023-07-20T21:00:11","slug":"things-that-really-bug-linda-and-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jodystaples.com\/main\/things-that-really-bug-linda-and-me\/","title":{"rendered":"Things That Really Bug Linda And Me"},"content":{"rendered":"

Aside from me backing out of the shower, nothing strikes terror into the heart of my dear wife, Linda, more than the sight of a spider. She is president of the arachnophobia club. So, of course, she\u2019s always the first one to spot a spider crawling out from behind a counter or flower pot or perched on a basement wall.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s kind of cute how she gets all feminine when, after a sighting,\u00a0 she shakes her clenched fists next to her face and in a high voice pleads for me to come to the place of discovery and dispatch the huge black hairy insect that dared to defile our home.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was just a daddy long legs,\u201d I said.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cGiving it a cute name doesn\u2019t make them any less scary,\u201d she replied..while heading out the door for ACE hardware to purchase the most lethal brand of spider killer allowed for domestic use; then directing the spray in all potential points of entry until the can is empty and the inside of the house is a blue haze and smells like a cross between fuel oil and Evening In Paris perfume.<\/p>\n

When we got home from vacation last week, I was reaching to unlock the door when a rather sizeable black spider scampered by my hand along the garage wall and behind a cabinet. Luckily, Linda didn\u2019t see it or she\u2019d have been off to ACE before going inside.<\/p>\n

But that was only the beginning of our bug issues.<\/p>\n

She just now left for Menards to pick up some sort of chemical designed to destroy an infestation of\u00a0 insects (Is a half dozen an infestation?) that we\u2019ve come to find out are \u201cearwigs.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"earwig\"<\/p>\n

EARWIGS, I thought, Isn\u2019t that the same creature that Kahn inserted into Chekov\u2019s ear to drive him nuts in Star Trek II ?<\/p>\n

\"Ewwww.

Ewwww. Khaaaaaaan!<\/p><\/div>\n

It\u2019s true, earwigs, who look positively disgusting with a set of menacing forceps on the belly and long antennae protruding from their horrid little heads,\u00a0 thrive in dark wet places and eat plants, other insects and human brains. Okay, I looked it up and apparently that last one isn\u2019t true.<\/p>\n

I also learned that they go through six moltings in their year of life and actually have wings that allow them to fly but they rarely do.<\/p>\n

Oh, Linda\u2019s back already. I\u2019ve gotta go out and see what I can do to help.<\/p>\n

Well, that was interesting. We have a brick patio which, as it turns out, is like Disneyland for earwigs. They were congregating under a plank we used to keep a wooden trunk off the ground; also under the grill and plant pots.<\/p>\n

\"You

You can barely see them trying to scurry to safety<\/p><\/div>\n

We initially went for a mass extermination by blasting them at point blank range with a spray bottle filled with a strong toxin designed to kill any creepy crawly things on contact..except earwigs, apparently, as this baptism of death\u00a0only seemed to make them mad. \u00a0Time to bring out the heavy artillery.<\/p>\n

\"A

A determined Linda ready to do battle<\/p><\/div>\n

Although it looks rather benign, this powder called Sevin 5 appears to be doing the trick; causing the little buggers to curl up and croak.<\/p>\n

\"Linda

Linda doing the dusting.<\/p><\/div>\n

The can label says not to use on a windy day, but the site of so many earwigs had us throwing caution to the wind..literally.\u00a0 Besides, those health warnings are usually overly cautious. I didn\u2019t inhale that much and I\u2019m pretty sure it hasn\u2019t amented me fectally.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Aside from me backing out of the shower, nothing strikes terror into the heart of my dear wife, Linda, more than the sight of a spider. She is president of the arachnophobia club. So, of course, she\u2019s always the first one to spot a spider crawling out from behind a counter or flower pot or…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[60],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-486","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-lund-at-large","category-60","description-off"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jodystaples.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/486","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jodystaples.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jodystaples.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jodystaples.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jodystaples.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=486"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.jodystaples.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/486\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11868,"href":"https:\/\/www.jodystaples.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/486\/revisions\/11868"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jodystaples.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=486"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jodystaples.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=486"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jodystaples.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=486"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}