Okay..after another 14 percent drop in the stock market last week I’m really thinking about pulling out what little money Linda and I have left in our shrinking retirement fund and putting it into something that might keep us from having to move in with our kids. (I’m not sure if they’d take both of us at once, though, which would be a shame.) My first thought was to take it all to Vegas, step up to a roulette table..put it all on red and hope for the best. Even if the little ball landed on black it would almost be better than having Wall Street squeeze us into poverty little by little each month.
I’ve been thinking about investments that are pretty much inflation, recession or politician proof..and I’ve decided there is one possibility: BEER. Now I’m not much of a beer drinker myself but I know those who are will cut just about every financial corner they can before saying, “That’s it..we’re not buying any more beer until the economy turns around.”
When times are tough, sorrows are soothed with a beer. “Here bud, have a Bud..you’ll feel better.” When things are going great, you celebrate with a beer: That’s the biggest walleye I’ve ever caught..toss me a Pabst. "Hey, welcome to the neighborhood. Is that a 64 inch high def TV? Care for a brewski? Did you know that Miller Light has only half the carbs of other beers? You mean its Atkins friendly? Yup..drink up.”
You don’t think there’s inflation-proof money in that golden brewed beverage? The second largest beer company in the world is attempting a take over Budweiser..the LARGEST beer company in the world. So far, though, Budweiser has said “no” to a 46.2 Billion dollar offer. 46 BILLION.The merger between Miller and Coors becomes official tomorrow.
It seems to me the only way beer sales might suffer is if the demand for ethanol forces every farmer to grow nothing but corn instead of barley and hops. Nah, never happen.
Convenience stores also seem to be a pretty good investment. If you have a halfway decent location it’s like planting a money tree. When’s the last time you didn’t have to wait in line behind two or three people to pay for something at a convenience store? Even if their gasoline profits are down, clerks rake-in cash over the counter non-stop from customers willing to buy everything else that’s sold in the store from 5 dollar milk, to 3 dollar bread, generic brand cigarettes and…oh yeah, beer.
Ugh.. all this talk about losing money has made me thirsty.
Snap…PHSSSTT!
“Honey do we have anymore beer in the fridge downstairs?”