A few weeks ago, I blogged about a trip to the optometrist which confirmed my suspicions that the cloudiness of vision in my left eye wasn’t due to dirty glasses but a cataract. Well, I’m writing this on the eve of surgery to correct the problem and don’t mind telling you that the idea of having my eyeball sliced open has me a tad on edge. Oh, I know it’s no big deal, I won’t feel a thing and the end result will be a much clearer view of the world; even though I’m not so sure that’s such a good thing considering the condition our world is in.
I certainly feel as though I’m in good and capable hands, though, with the noted Dr. Vance Thompson, himself, performing the operation. He is a delightful fellow who does dozens of eye surgeries a week yet still find time to council each of his patients..answering their questions and easing concerns.
During our consult, his first words to me were what a privilege it was to have a celebrity TV guy and fellow musician in the exam room. Normally, I’d say he was blowin’ smoke except he cited my many years on the Keloland airwaves..how happy he was that I’m still there as staff announcer. Dr. Thompson also said how much he enjoyed listening to me playing drums with Mogen’s Heroes for so many years. He’s a drummer too and would probably play lots of gigs if he wasn’t so busy with this eye fixing business which has grown by leaps and bounds to the point where he’s gone from a relatively small office in one of Sanford’s medical buildings to a huge shiny new glass covered building of his own off 57th Street that houses a sizeable staff and all the latest technology for performing eye examinations and surgeries.
I was just reading up on what to expect and how to prepare for the procedure. Apparently all I have to do is show up freshly showered and in clean clothes. Good news since I don’t do hospital gowns well. It also advised me not to eat anything for 6 hours prior and nothing but clear liquids to drink up to two hours prior.
Vodka is a clear liquid but I’m guessing it’s probably off limits.
I may already be in trouble on that score since one of the pamphlets says no alcohol for 24 hours before surgery. I read that this evening just after consuming a cocktail to ease my anxiety. It will have to be our little secret.
Post surgery I’m not to be on my hands and knees for at least a week. I don’t remember the last time I was on my hands and knees for anything except to unplug the cable TV box to reset it. I think Linda had to help me back up.
I’m also not to lift anything heavier than 20 pounds for a week out of concern it will put strain on the incision. I wonder what kind of strain my just standing up will cause.
Oh, well. Soon it will be over and there are no restrictions on watching TV or using the computer so I’ll let you know how it all turns out as soon as I’m allowed to remove my Stevie Wonder glasses after Linda drives me home.
UPDATE: Well, it’s all over and I’ve been assured that the surgery went perfect. Contrary to what I thought, I was fully awake and aware through the entire procedure even though I quite literally drank the Kool-Aid..which is a fruity syrupy concoction that you let float around under the tongue for a while before swallowing and is supposed to have the same effect as an I.V. anesthetic only faster. It wasn’t quite like what I had for my colonoscopy last summer though. The only thing I remember about that procedure was being wheeled back to my room after it was all over and unable to check out until the nurse confirmed the sound of my flatulation. But everything went swimmingly and relatively painless. It was about 10:30 this morning when Dr. Vance Thompson began on me. Even already his 14th patient of the day, he made me feel like I was the first and only. In fact everybody that works at the place is just genuinely nice and exceptionally accommodating. I return Wednesday morning for a follow-up check and then do eye drops for a month. I certainly hope it doesn’t take long for everything in my left eye to clear up and for those black floaty things that look like the evil spirits in the movie “Ghost” to fly away. All normal, I’m assured. Hope so.
As is tradition whenever I’m in a vulnerable position medically speaking, I snap a selfie apparently because I don’t give a rip how I look any more. Anyway, Linda says I look very fetching in my hair net. Oh, and that mark above my eye is from Dr. Vance’s “Sharpie” pen..just so everybody is on the same page as to which one is getting the operation. Can’t be too careful, I guess.