God created the month of March to give people who don’t drink the chance to experience what a hangover feels like. (Garrison Keillor)
“My, where did February go? It seems to have just flown by.”
I’m allowed to repeat clichés like that because I qualify for the senior discount at restaurants, theaters and motels. I’m not only old, I’m old fashioned.
How can that be, Lund,you seem so young?
I have a stack of bills over on the table that needs my immediate attention as soon as I’m done here. I’ll be paying them by check. Yes, I am still armed with a checkbook and am not afraid to use it no matter how much pressure I get from creditors urging..nay, practically insisting, that I reimburse them automatically on-line “for my convenience” to which I say Poppycock.
Even though it costs about five dollars a month in postage, I still feel more comfortable going through my regular routine; rounding up the bills, checkbook, envelopes, letter opener, pen, stamps (both postage and return address) and a good stiff grown-up beverage to keep me calm if and when I should discover any irregularities. It usually takes about 45 minutes sitting at the table to complete the process but it’s time well spent as far as I’m concerned just knowing I had a hand in it; and that somebody on the receiving end will have to physically open the envelope, remove the check and apply it to my account rather than some computer belching out the numbers. When our kids are all home at Christmastime and see me going through this ritual, they invariably remind me about the convenience..and safety.. of paying on line.But, they’ll probably keep still from now on after our son had his identity stolen and accounts raided this past month. Fortunately, he’s covered financially but what a headache. No thanks, I’ll continue to live in the dark ages until checks are not an option or the post office drops service altogether..not just on Saturdays.
Speaking of old fashioned..I’m becoming keenly aware that I’m losing touch with pop culture and have been for some time.
I’ve tried to avoid being a stereotypical old geezer when it comes to things like fashion trends, hair styles and popular vernacular. But, I’m afraid I can no longer cope in silence. Good Lord. Men’s haircuts. How can the ladies like the looks of these just-got-out-of-bed…stickin’ straight up, un-combed tufts of short hair..trimmed high on the side to reveal often large misshapen ears?
It’s just how Keillor describes the springtime appearance of Norwegian bachelor farmers fresh out of their winter hibernation showing up in LakeWoebegon… right down to the scraggly two week old growth of beard which women now seem to find so appealing; perhaps for the extra scratchiness. Why am I citing Garrison Keillor today..twice? He’s hardly one to talk about unkept hair and general scruffiness.
Neither am I for that matter. Don’t get me wrong, When most men my age are crying over the sink each morning at the site of great gobs of follicles that have become detached overnight, I’m pleased to still have a full head of thick hair even though it’s now regressing from the popular salt and pepper look to silver grey on the fast track to all white.
Aside from hair length, I haven’t changed the style in…well, EVER.. which has led to suggestions that I get with the times. But if the times mean morphing into the hobo look, I’ll have to pass.
Oh, yeah, and what’s with the latest in men’s suits? I suppose I should be glad that most guys appearing on TV talk or award shows, still feel obliged to dress up but I really hate to see how fashions have regressed back to the 60’s where suits are shiny and tight with ties that are plain and skinny.
I suppose the popular “Mad Men” TV series may have had an influence but it only works on guys who are rail thin; certainly not short and stout fellas like poor Jonah Hill who clearly found the weight he recently lost but hasn’t told his taylor.
As I got older and wider, I rejoiced when the form fitting pants and suit jackets of my youth disappeared so I could relax the gut a little. But now, they’re back and there’s no hiding behind clothing or hair anymore to cover up certain areas of the body that are sensitive to some of us like ears, butts and bellies.
Thank god, Linda still loves me the way I am.
Wait a sec..I better check.
Yeah, she says she still does but added I could use a haircut.